I didn’t totally understand what this meant when I first heard it. And I definitely wasn’t prepared 10 years ago to handle all the negative attention I got at my job. (Thankfully this was before social media exploded so my self-esteem remained intact as a young professional!)
But now I not only understand this message…I understand it too well.
There are various forms of media attention, of course. TV, radio, print, blogs, online forums, social media, yelp, etc…Those are the obvious ones. As a solopreneur on the lookout for clients we’re constantly left wondering how people are finding us and WHAT are they hearing? Mainly so we can do more of what’s working to draw more clients in. But there is still one critical piece missing from these attention-seeking questions. It’s the piece of, what I like to call, the “I’ve made it” cake.
It’s actually not a layer of the media. It’s the layer of the copycat.
This is a layer that has recently happened to me and one that shook me to my core. I was triggered by emotions that I didn’t even know existed. It rattled me so much I actually considered for a millisecond I should ditch what I was doing completely and find another biz direction.
Talk about being a drama queen! Seriously. (To do list: Let go of ego…)
Because I know my ego was trying to pull me down and do what it always does in these situations: analyze, call mentors, over analyze, call friends, over analyze, call colleagues, over analyze, call family…basically talk to anyone who would listen to my story so I could ‘prove’ I was right. Yes, instead of doing what I always did expecting a different result, I did the opposite.
I told the person I was in conflict with I was triggered by her professional actions and needed some space. I processed the information internally for 3 weeks, sought advice from one professional, and then decided to have the hard 1:1 conversation with the person.
So the phone call came and the convo started. I’d love to sit here and tell you the convo was easy, that because I was aware of my ego, my triggers, and my needs it was a perfectly orchestrated conversation that yielded the exact results I wanted. But that would be a big, fat lie because the conversation just plain sucked.
I was inarticulate, uncomfortable, afraid of getting yelled at, and in an effort to own my emotional triggers and release my ego I owned WAY too much of the problem. Plus, I just let certain arguments slide because it was obvious the copycat was choosing not to see the ill behavior in herself.
Afterward, I felt a combination of emptiness and pure joy. Emptiness from losing a friend and colleague I’d worked closely with for 3 years. Pure joy for identifying my needs, owning them (no matter how I thought they’d be perceived) and making sure they were met.
But the real joy for me has come through reflection. I realize now more than ever I’m really talking my walk. To now accept all the other signs throughout the years I didn’t act on. Signs I always knew weren’t right and made my gut ache. But signs that I swept under the rug because it was easier to be liked and superficially ‘connected’ than be real.
NOW though, my authenticity is shining bright because I made the choice to stand in my truth and was thrown into a conversation where I had to practice it. It’s a situation and conversation I’m eternally grateful for because I know the only reason any smart, savvy business woman would want to copy anything of mine is because it’s awesome.
The copycat is one of the main forms of flattery and one of the best external proofs to publicly validate your level of success in business. So to my colleague, I thank you. I now have honed my message faster than expected. I now know my lawyer better than ever. And I now know I am even better than I thought I was at business coaching because, well, my unique spin and ideas were taken. It was just the confidence boost I needed, thank you.
Here’s to many copycats coming your way in business soon…(make sure to consult your lawyer before they do, though! I’m off to call mine again…another idea just hit me.)
How have you seen the “I’ve made it” cake show up in your business?
